What Have I Been Doing For 33 Years?

This may be a long post folks so strap in. The title of this post sums up my overwhelming thought process during my 1 hr ride this morning. I was riding along and thinking about how far I am from where I want to be. Professionally, I am not there yet and had to dust myself off after falling off the horse last week. Training-wise I am working my butt off, but my progress is so slow I can hardly comprehend where I was to begin with three years ago.

Let me take a step back. In 2002/03 while bored in a Business School class I started one of those "Bucket Lists" of things to do before I died. I sensed a freedom after two years of business school, preceded by three years suffocating in New York City, and four years drinking in college. I had a decent list going, some are obsolete - as they no longer mean anything to me, while others have been attained. One of those items was to do a triathlon (I had no idea how long, how hard, or whatever). I spent the next year and a half in a similarly suffocating environment in Boston while traveling each weekend to New Jersey where my wife was. Finally I moved out of downtown and had the freedom to swim and run and knock off that triathlon thingy.

Three years later, here I stand suffering through another week of workouts in an attempt to reach my new goal of getting 5:30 in a half-Ironman. In the interim, I have taught myself how to swim pretty much from scratch. Now I am at the point I feel strong in the water over any distance between a mile and probably 2 miles. Similarly I can perform flipturns, do the backstroke, and a lot of other things. I no longer feel self-conscious in Speedo and I regularly pee in the pool with no qualms.

On the bike and run, I am still babystepping my way to proficiency...and it sucks. Yesterday I ran for an hour, but my pace is so slow, I am practically walking at times. Today I am on the bike dreaming about a real live tri-bike. But the whole time I am thinking to myself that I can barely clip in/clip out, I know nothing about road cycling, and could barely make it through one day of a two day endurance ride.

This whole experience left me wondering, if this is where I am after 4 1/2 years of working out religiously, three years of triathlon prep, and 33 years of living, then WHERE THE F*** WAS I BEFORE???? Back in 03, I thought doing a tri and knocking off a slot in Kona was as easy as doing it. I guess my point, is, setting goals is really important, but the followthrough should not be delayed for even a second. I am just starting to realize that because the process is so gradual, it's sometimes hard to even quantify.

If I was to impart any advice on any readers with similar unstarted goals, I'd say, "START WORKING ON THEM TONIGHT, YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER".

Song in my head - Another bucket list item was to learn to play guitar. I started playing in November (a full year and a half after buying one). I am killing myself for not learning it sooner. It's freaking easy. I am a huge Rock fan and always dreamed of kicking ass on stage. I have no real desire to play stadiums, but it would be awesome to know I was good enough to play anything I want. The two songs I have been practicing recently are the very simple but gorgeous Oasis classics Wonderwall and Live Forever. I have been practicing these like crazy for the past few days. I hope to be as awesome as Noel Gallagher one day. Til next time